RANSVESTIA

self.) During this time I married an immature girl who was not sure enough of her own femininity to try to cope with me. She resented me as a possible competitor, and was very uncertain and afraid. We could have stayed married if I had gone underground or into a suitcase, but before a decision could be reached. I got orders to Vietnam. While there, I had time and the initiative to think about my life. I was a front line officer, and was where it hit the fan, so life got to be an important commodity. About this time I learned of Virginia and her books, and in one swoop, bought about twenty TVia's. I won't say that this was the turning point of my life, or make any such testimonials, but it was a great help in decision making, reading stories about people, much older than myself, who were so unhappy. The answer seemed so easy to correct all of that -just say the hell with it and be a girl. What has come out of this was a little different, but much more satisfactory, When I returned from Vietnam, I had decided. My divorced was pending. I was released from the service, and on my own.

My first problem when I finally returned from Vietnam, was to attempt to establish some sort of life for myself. I have been married and divorced, once, so it meant starting all over in a new life. I have returned to college on the GI bill, and I have a reasonable amount of freedom from want. I live by myself, so I have overcome most of the problems associated with relating to other people. One thing I swore while I was in combat. was that when I got home, if I lived, I would never put myself in any posi- tion that would prevent me from expressing my femininity.

Two things happened to me about the same time. I started dressing in earnest, spending much of my free time developing the skills that a woman needs for everyday life, letting my hair grow, keeping myself smooth and shaven all over, and for the first time enjoying myself completely in the life that I had wanted for so long. Slowly from the pile of mistakes, botched up make-up jobs, and too small skirts, Eileen started to emerge. But still at this time there was no name (I was still writing under Karen's) and no real personality that could be expressed in tastes.

Then along came the second turning point in my life. I met Carol, or rather, "he" met her. I have known her since we were little children toge- ther, but for some reason we never gave much thought to each other. After we started dating, we found so many things that we had in common that we realized that we might possibly be the sort of mates that we had been looking for. Of course one thing remained, and that was to tell her about the other side of me. I went rather slowly, and I think that she suspected where I was leading to, long before I ever reached the point of telling her that part of myself belonged in dresses. She was prepared, and when the whole story was finally revealed, accepted it graciously.

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